hi there….
November  2016…thanks for stopping by…finally, finally Dear God, i got to turn the heat on just a little in the house…it is finally cool…outside…sometimes almost cold……thank you.lord….this past summer was not a record breaker but it was really long…!!…i thought it would never go away,  it was like a 9th  grade zit….

are you sick of my jokes…?..i know i am…


How does an Italian get into an honest business..?

usually through the skylight….


a  merry christmas thought..for this special time of year,,

Money is the Rudolph all evil.



how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb…?

just one,,

but the light bulb has to really want to change and it takes a long time..


did you hear about the 2 cannibals who were eating a clown..?

one said….’does this taste funny to you…?’


where does a rabbit go to catch a plane..?


sometimes  jokes appear in places where you think you have already read everything , but you are wrong. this website is alive and it does things on it’s own,,,,it scares me sometimes….


question . ..if Tarzan and Jane were both Italian , what would Cheetah be…?

answer….the least hairy of the three.,


here is a link to some illustrations i did for the OXFORD AMERICAN magazine …….it came out pretty good….

check it out….


why do Italian men have moustaches…?

so they can look like their mothers…!


big announcement…


i sent off my DNA to be checked,,,for my past history…,,to one of those labs..where you pay , like …200 dollars……it turns out , i had an arrest warrant from 1764 still open on me..i wish i had never sent off my sample,,,,i am laying low…and i am no longer wearing shoes with big buckles on them..

did you see my paintings in the movie Boyhood..?…they were featured in a scene…..i am cleaning off the mantle for my Oscar..

also i appear in the HI Records documentary Take Me To The River……the story of the legendary Memphis Willie Mitchell studio…an incredibly cool place to go and record or just hang out..

but enough about me……oh wait…..this is my website….so IT’S ALL ABOUT ME..!!

what does FIAT stand for…?

fix it again Tony…!!



i get a lot of people asking me about  my celebrity client list that was on my old website…..it got erased..but since many people are so into celebrity i will try here to remember most of the people.,,,here they are in no particular order,,,i am not saying i met all these people,,,very few  i met in person in fact.,,,,but i know they either bought one or got one or whatever way obtained one,,,and they like it,,,

neil young, jackson browne, david lindley, jimmie vaughan, marty stuart, drew barrymore, michael hutchence, keith richards, bobby whitlock, mark knopfler, richard bennett, susan sarandon, meryl streep, kim richey, john kay,  charlie sexton, david caruso, jaan uhelszki, huey lewis,  lucinda williams,  wilco,  kinky friedman, the band  great white,  johnny colla, etc etc……i know there is  lots more,,,,,my mind slips,,,i will come back later and add more when i can remember better,,,if you are a celebrity and have a painting of mine , drop me a line,,,





any questions…call me anytime.,,, .area code nine-oh-one 262-6985

or email



i am bailing out of my old yahoo mail account , as it seems unstable and yahoo is doomed anyway,,




photo of me (above) by

J. Shimon & J. Lindemann

two wonderful friends of mine..

any questions…call me anytime.,,, .area code nine-oh-one 262-6985

or email